How do I help my child's development as a soccer player?

I hear this question or a form of this question the most when I talk to parents. My firstborn son started playing soccer in the mid 1990s and quite frankly it was not until the year he turned 9 that it first dawned on me that soccer might be his favorite sport. He was “drafted” into a select team and then I joined the coaching staff. The simplest but often most difficult way to help your child’s development is to get involved “hands-on” on the coaching staff or help the coaching staff as a team manager, referee, etc. Getting involved brings you into an inner circle and gets you closer to understanding what the coaches vision, philosophy and their passion is.

If getting involved is not an option because like most parents your job keeps you busy enough or your child plays on a club team with a “professional coach” then the things you can do are the following:

1) Do not be critical of your child’s play during or immediately after a game. For example, “Timmy, why did you miss that shot on the open goal. Honey, you know the team needed that goal!” While what you are saying is 100% correct from the supporting your team’s objective to win perspective. From the, how to help your child develop perspective, being critical simply compounds the situation as Timmy is well aware of the impact of his missed opportunity since it was probably pointed out by his teammates but hopefully not his coach. Being critical while intending to help simply eats at a player’s toughest character trait to develop as an athlete: “self-confidence” or the belief in one-self to eventually achieve success.

2) If you cannot get involved with your child while they are in a training session, offer to take them out to a park or play with them in the back yard and try to have them teach you what they are learning in training. Effectively encouraging that they “practice” on their own or with you or a sibling will help them tremendously in the long run as they will exercise the character quality of “hard work” or a consistent work rate. The sooner you can help your child understand that if they want to improve in soccer or anything in life for that matter that it will take extra work the better.

3) Last but not least, after the Women’s World Cup in 1999 when Mia Hamm, Brandi Chastain and the ‘91ers won the World Cup Final versus China, Tony DiCicco wrote a book that he promoted at a soccer conference (I have a signed copy). The title of that book is , “Catch Them Being Good”. In a nutshell, the book has been one of the best reads of all the soccer books I have read in my entire coaching career. The take away is, catch your child doing good and praise them for those good deeds in the field of athletics. Emphasize the positive achievements as a parent. For example, if in a match for their team they were not actively able to contribute, praise them for their effort providing they gave effort. In other words, you can help you child develop by watching them play and giving them positive feedback when you see positive activity.

In summary, you can also examine your child’s skills and if they are lacking and they are interested in improving, get them the help they need via individual training once a week in addition to the training they get from their team. Sixty minutes of focused 1-on-1 work with someone who can help them improve their technique and build their skills will go a long ways towards helping foster true development.

1) Do not be critical of their errors

2) Encourage your child to work on their game consistently

3) Catch them being good - stay positive - focus on the positive

4) If their skills/technique need improvement, invest in their development by getting them into 1-on-1 sessions with their own coach if possible, if not contact LSA and we will be glad to step in if possible.

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